This Isn't A Goodbye

The day has finally arrived. The dreaded day. The day I wished away as soon as I stepped off my plane in July. The day that there will be an ocean separating my precious pearls from me. The day that I am returning to the U.S. Saying goodbye was the hardest thing I think I have ever done. It took all of me to sit in my taxi and drive off as I had tears streaming down my face, looking at those faces that mirrored me in sadness. It took all of my will power to not stop the car and turn back, to run inside and lock the gate so I didn't have to leave. I know that these are selfish thoughts. I know I have family and friends eagerly awaiting my arrival. However, the love I have for my girls trumps each thought about home. Throughout the month of November I spent a lot of my time writing the mission journal and handbook for The Pearl House. The last section was about returning back to The States. I did a lot of research and read a lot of books about how to mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually adjust back to "normal life". I made sure to really understand what I was writing about, knowing I would be going through that process in a month. But that was a month ago. Now I am sitting in the airport wondering how I will get on this plane or how I am going to keep it together. I think these girls have made just as much of an impact in my life than I have in their lives. They have shown me what pure joy looks like, what true transformation is, and how to praise The Lord with all you have. On Saturday night, Tina had the girls go around and say what they learned from me. First of all, this brought tears to my eyes. It overflowed my heart with joy to know that these past 6 months have meant something to someone besides myself. Second, I wish they could comprehend what they have all done for me. I have 19 new sisters and 1 baby girl.  They have become my family. The girls, Tina, Rita, and Courtney are all apart of my family tree. Satan has had a hold on my thoughts regarding my return home. He tries to hold the negative, worthless, demeaning thoughts and draw them near to me when they start slipping to the back of my mind. I know though, that my God is greater and the my God is stronger. I have to release my grip on those thoughts and let Him defeat Satan. Moving to Ghana was the hardest, best, most inspiring, most spiritual gaining experience I have ever had. I am at point where I have to depend on God for everything and I pray that discipline does not fade away as I return. God has a plan. God had a plan before I moved to Ghana. God had a plan while I was in Ghana. God has a plan as I am leaving Ghana. God will have a plan when I return home. I ask that you pray for me as I make this transition back home. Please pray for my parents, because this will be hard for them too. Please be patient with me as I figure where I belong now. I want this experience to not only impact me, but impact others. I need to share God's glory and how He is working when I return. I cannot keep this trip to myself. It is meant to be shared. It is meant to be used to glorify God. I do not know when I will be returning to The Pearl House but I trust God and ask that He guides me no matter where I am.