This Isn't A Goodbye

The day has finally arrived. The dreaded day. The day I wished away as soon as I stepped off my plane in July. The day that there will be an ocean separating my precious pearls from me. The day that I am returning to the U.S. Saying goodbye was the hardest thing I think I have ever done. It took all of me to sit in my taxi and drive off as I had tears streaming down my face, looking at those faces that mirrored me in sadness. It took all of my will power to not stop the car and turn back, to run inside and lock the gate so I didn't have to leave. I know that these are selfish thoughts. I know I have family and friends eagerly awaiting my arrival. However, the love I have for my girls trumps each thought about home. Throughout the month of November I spent a lot of my time writing the mission journal and handbook for The Pearl House. The last section was about returning back to The States. I did a lot of research and read a lot of books about how to mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually adjust back to "normal life". I made sure to really understand what I was writing about, knowing I would be going through that process in a month. But that was a month ago. Now I am sitting in the airport wondering how I will get on this plane or how I am going to keep it together. I think these girls have made just as much of an impact in my life than I have in their lives. They have shown me what pure joy looks like, what true transformation is, and how to praise The Lord with all you have. On Saturday night, Tina had the girls go around and say what they learned from me. First of all, this brought tears to my eyes. It overflowed my heart with joy to know that these past 6 months have meant something to someone besides myself. Second, I wish they could comprehend what they have all done for me. I have 19 new sisters and 1 baby girl.  They have become my family. The girls, Tina, Rita, and Courtney are all apart of my family tree. Satan has had a hold on my thoughts regarding my return home. He tries to hold the negative, worthless, demeaning thoughts and draw them near to me when they start slipping to the back of my mind. I know though, that my God is greater and the my God is stronger. I have to release my grip on those thoughts and let Him defeat Satan. Moving to Ghana was the hardest, best, most inspiring, most spiritual gaining experience I have ever had. I am at point where I have to depend on God for everything and I pray that discipline does not fade away as I return. God has a plan. God had a plan before I moved to Ghana. God had a plan while I was in Ghana. God has a plan as I am leaving Ghana. God will have a plan when I return home. I ask that you pray for me as I make this transition back home. Please pray for my parents, because this will be hard for them too. Please be patient with me as I figure where I belong now. I want this experience to not only impact me, but impact others. I need to share God's glory and how He is working when I return. I cannot keep this trip to myself. It is meant to be shared. It is meant to be used to glorify God. I do not know when I will be returning to The Pearl House but I trust God and ask that He guides me no matter where I am. 

Acts Me About Missions

Have you ever read Acts? Because I had not. I don't know why though, because it is an awesome book of the Bible! Reading about the missions of the apostles after Jesus returned to Heaven is so encouraging! To hear how they lived as one, reached out to those who were in need, and did not let earthly obstacles keep them from proclaiming the name of The Lord is truly inspiring. In the beginning of Acts, I was introduced to one of my new favorite people in the Bible, Stephen. If you don't know much about Stephen his story is in Acts 6 and 7. What I noticed most about Stephen was his attitude about serving The Lord. When all of the disciples were going to travel all over and share the Gosple, they received complaints about how they were neglecting some of the people they were in the same town with. No one immediately volunteered to stay behind, so Stephen was among those that were chosen. It probably would have been easy for Stephen to have a bad attitude about being left behind. It probably would have been easy for him to feel useless by God. But, no. Stephen looked at where he was and chose to serve The Lord and chose to do it to the best of his ability. He opened himself up to let the Holy Spirit work through him. I pray to have the attitude of Stephen when I return home. I pray that when I am home I will look where I am and serve God to the best of my ability. So, as Stephen is working for The Lord and performing great works, the Jews were becoming angry with him. The Jews accused him of speaking against the laws of Moses and God and turned people against Stephen. Stephen was then arrested and taken to the Council. As the began interrogating Stephen, they looked down and saw he had the face of an angel. Then, Stephen just starts quoting scripture from the first testament. From the promise made to Abraham to the words of the prophets in Isaiah and Jeremiah, Stephen said it all. After all of this, Stephen calls the Jews out in chapter 7 verse 53 saying "You who have received the Law as it was ordained and set in order and delivered by angels, and [yet] you did not obey it." The Jews were furious and covered their ears. In faith, Stephen kept going. He proclaimed that He could see the glory of God in Heaven with Jesus at his right hand. The Jews drag Stephen out and begin to stone him. Even in his dying moments Stephen was praying to God "Lord Jesus, receive and accept and welcome my spirit. Lord please fix not this sin upon them." After he prayed for the praying for the people stoning him, Stephen fell asleep in death. Isn't that just an amazing story. It is the true picture of what living a missionary lifestyle is all about. Stephen chose to be a missionary for God wherever he was placed and he worked for The Lord. Stephen knew the Bible. He didn't just generalize the first testament for the Council, but quoted it for them. And most importantly, Stephen was a prayer warrior. He knew that not everyone would accept the message he was proclaiming, but prayed for those who rebuked him for it. He prayed to God while he was being stoned and humbly asked for God to receive his soul. His last words were a prayer for those stoning him. I know that we can all draw something from the story of Stephen. I want to be a Stephen in the Kingdom of God.  Throughout my reading I was continually amazed by the faith of the early desciples after Jesus died. Peter and Paul were constantly harmed, threatened, and imprisoned. There comes a time in chapter 21 when Paul is about to go to Jerusalem. As he was preparing a prophet came and told Paul that he had received a vision from God to tell Paul he will be harshly persecuted if he goes. Others came forward telling Paul that they felt that The Holy Spirit was cautioning not to go. Despite the warning that seemed to be from God, Paul says "For I hold myself in readiness not only to be arrested and bound and imprisoned at Jerusalem, but also to die for the name of The Lord Jesus." Wow. Pail wasn't going into Jerusalem blindly. He knew what he was getting into. That verse makes me check myself. That verse says to me "Hey Clara, remember that one time you didn't share Christ with that one person because you feared they might reject you?" It is a verse that portrays shame on to my evangelism choices. Seeing the sacrifices and attitudes of Peter, Paul, and Stephen have rocked my socks off. If you have not read Acts all the way through, please go read it. We are called to be missionaries for Christ, and this is a book that will give you the ultimate role models. 

Home Sweet Home

Winneba is starting to feel like my home. I feel like I am accepted here. It is a wonderful feeling when I walk down the street and I recognize neighbors, I go into a store and see a fellow church member, I have the number of store owners who call me when orders are in, and I am a regular visitor at the school. These people make me feel so welcome. Ghana is a very hospitable country and I have definitely been a witness of this. Whenever I go to the school, I feel like that mom that checks up on her kid at school everyday. Fortunately, I am only there once a week. The girls all bring home different information about holidays, school books, fees, so I have to go and get the real information. I am that girl that has "my chair" when I walk into the office. I really enjoy living in a community where I can feel involved and I am always graciously welcomed anywhere I go. It is fun to show off my knowledge of Winneba; the junction names, the back roads to walk to town, where the less expensive coke is. The people I live with also make me feel like I belong. Yes, there are times I struggle, but I love learning from and being encouraged by these women. Every Thursday we pray for each other after the girls leave for school and these three women are people that I know that are praying for me after we leave the prayer circle. God has placed The Pearl House in a spot where it will be able to serve the community and be lifted up by the fellowship. 

Founding Father's Day

The founding father of The Pearl House finally came to meet the girls! These pearls have been waiting what seems like an eternity to meet the man they have prayer for everyday. As Steve Bullard walked through the gate on Sunday, October 6th, he was bombarded with hugs, handshakes, and hellos. It was one of the best things I have ever watched. They girls couldn't stop smiling as Steve and the group came in. Steve was so overwhelmed that Bishop Odai stepped in and said some words to the girls. It is always very encouraging to the girls and the staff to hear what Bishop has to say. To make the introductions even sweeter, the first thing the girls did for the group was quote Matthew 13:45-46. Steve told me that he was numb before that and as soon as he heard the quotation he was pretty sure capillaries started bursting. It was beautiful. Even though we had a program at the church to go to, the girls couldn't wait to get inside and show Steve and the team everything. They started by quoting all their bible verses, then they sang and did their dances, then they showed them around the house. I loved seeing the girls just want to hold on to Steve, to never leave his side. After the program, everyone came back and the group was able to say goodnight to the girls and see them off to bed. The girls begged to stay home from school on Monday so they could spend time with the team, but unfortunately they all had testing. As the girls came running home from school that day, the team was there to help with homework and to read to the girls. Many of them pilled around the couch as Steve read one of their new books to them. We all ate together and played games before we headed off to church to the end of the program. It was a beautiful thing to see the girls surround their Dad and worship The Lord together. I couldn't help but just watch them all praise God. It didn't matter that they couldn't speak the same language, or that some were black and some were white, the girls were happy that they were at church with the man that cares so much about them giving thanks to the One who cares even more. Tuesday was Steve and the teams last day in Winneba, so we didn't plan anything for that night so they could spend quality time with girls. They all did homework together, colored together, looked at pictures together, read together, and ate together. Before the group had to leave, we all sat and had devotion together, filled with singing and praying. As Cory, one of the team members, spoke, the tears were streaming. When Steve began to encourage the girls, the tears were gushing down the faces of most if the people in the room. At the end of devotion, Steve gave each girl a pair of pearl earrings. It was a beautiful moment to see them receive this beautiful symbol of their worth given to them by someone so important in their lives. I think God blessed everyone's lives while the team was here. Even though the girls were sobbing as the team drove away, I knew that they couldn't be happier to have gotten to meet their dad. Many of these girls have lost their earthly father, so I encourage you to pray for Steve as he takes on this role in each girls life and that they always remember that their Heavenly Fathers loves them so much more. 

Back To School Edition

I feel like a stay at home mom sending her kids out the door for their first day of school. The girls officially started school on Wednesday, September 11th. On Tuesday night, the school supplies were sorted, the uniforms ironed, and the girls prayed over. Courtney, Rita, Tina, and I all walked them down the street to school and held their hands as they walked through the gate. Many of the girls are starting in a class that is lower than the class they were in at their old village. I hope it will be humbling for them to be in a class with children 1-5 years younger than them. I hope it causes them to want to work hard to get promoted at the end of the term. God has been so faithful in providing for their schooling. He placed our house down the road from the best school in the Central Region of Ghana. They are so caring and have the best intentions for our girls. They have had students come from all over, so they know how to provide special attention to children who are unfamiliar with actual schooling. They girls go to school from 7-2 and then have extra classes from 3-5. I love that they learning so much, but it makes me sad when they are gone all day. This just means that I have to be intentional and present during the times I do have with them. One thing we are trying do use as a learning opportunity is giving the girls all new things for school; socks, shoes, uniforms, supplies, backpacks, ect. We want them to have thankful hearts and show gratitude for what they are given. This is not about me wanting them to constantly thank me for everything, but learn to always be thankful for what God provides. This also teaches them the differences between necessities and privileges. Sometimes they get them confused and I want them to take a minute, remember where they came from, and what God has done for them. They must learn what it means to be a pearl of Christ and not a pearl of the world. After only going to school for about 2 weeks, the English in the house has improved tremendously! I love hearing them try to explain something to or trying to sound out a new word. We also have started The Pearl House language: 

~Most Engligh words have either and O or a Y at the end (example: picky picky- picking up trash or biggly- big

~If you do not like some thing it is either eating you, fighting you, or insulting you (example: "the sun is eating you"- what the girls say when I have a sun burn or "the water is insulting me"- it is raining.)

~A lot of the girls mix up L and R (example: "Sister Clara, bring me back some blood"- they are actually asking for some bread. I was very concerned the first time I heard it.) 

~If you don't know a word you just replace it with "the this" (example: "the this is paining my this!"- there really is no translation, it could mean anything. Watch for hand motions to help.)

My prayer for these girls is that God will use them as a light in their school and that He will surround them with classmates and teachers and friends that will help them mature in their faith and constantly encourage them. 

In the Beginning...

Remember back to the first time you heard the story of Creation, or Noah's ark, or of Abraham having to almost sacrifice his son. When we hear those stories as children, we find them pretty exciting! That is what all of these girls are experiencing right now! Every story to them is brand new. I love getting to start in Genesis and walk them through the Bible. It definitely brings a smile to my face when I say we have to stop for the night and will continue the story the next day and each of the girls gives a little sigh. One of my favorite parts though is hearing the girls' questions afterward and what they learned from the story. I get questions from "So do the stars have babies?" after talking about how God told Abraham his descendants would outnumber the stars; to "What happened to all the babies on the earth when God flooded it?". This is part of what makes devotion one of my favorite hours of the day. We have devotion once in the morning and once at night everyday. The morning is filled with worship and signing praises to God and lots of praying. Evening devotion is when we dive into the word. I love that we are showing these girls what it really means to start and end you day fully dependent on God. 

I Am Running On Empty

It is a good thing that the Fruits of the Spirit don't cost as much as gas, because I am having to fill up everyday! I actually feel content when I lay down on my bed at the end of the day and I feel empty because I know that I have given these girls everything God gave me that day. These girls are loud, stubborn, disobedient, and fighters; but every time they worship together, read English for the first time by themselves, give me a hug, or try to share their food with me I forget all of the other things and thank God for them everyday. I know that I only get through each day because God gives me strength, patience, and understanding every morning. I ask Him to control each day and He faithfully does. One of Courtney and I's goals is to teach these girls about who God is. They have memorized John 3:16 to know that He is our savior, we have been through the story of creation so they know that God is our creator, and they are memorizing Matthew 13:45-46 to know that God sees them as pearls of great price. One day I was working on the verse with them and I was explaining what it means to be a pearl. I told them to yell at the top of their lungs, " I AM A PEARL", and it was beautiful! 

True Life: this is the Pearl House

On Sunday night, the 28th, we had a dedication of the Pearl House. We had heard rumors of more girls, but had not directly heard anything. As the bus of Maranatha people drove up to the church, along came 10 girls that Pastor Odai had brought us. We had told him a few days earlier that our max was 5 more girls, but of course that means nothing to Pastor Odai. I expected Courtney to be freaking out, but instead she was odly calm. It was inspiring to see her but each one of those girld in God's hands as soon as they entered the house. So, here we are with 21 girls, trying to find beds, mattresses, pillows, toiletries, and so much more. The LORD is good though and has provided abundantly. The transition from 11 girls to 21 girls has been an interested. There are more languages, more sassy personalities, but more hearts to love. God has a plan that is greater than one that I could ever think of and I completely trust His direction. I still don't know a whole lot about these new girls, but I look forward to seeing where they came from. I have gotten to hear the original 11's stories and it just makes me love them more! I want them to see that God can heal their broken families, broken hearts, and broken mind sets. I pray that God will soften their hearts and let them be vulnerable. One of the hardest parts is how to discipline the girls. One, there is a language barrier. Two, there is a cultural barrier. Three, there is a Clara's personality barrier. It's hard to tell them why they are in trouble when I can't communicate with them and it makes me seem less like a leader of the house when I have to go get someone else either older or younger. Then there is the cultural aspect that I haven't been raised to understand. What is accepted? What isn't? Do I let them pee on the front yard? is it okay if they play fight since that is what they do here? I have to learn their customs. I am not here to turn them into American children. I want them to keep their beautiful Africaness. Then there is me. Clara Brown's personality is not one that is strict disciplinarian. I am lenient and tend to let things slide. If I have to discipline than I am calm and have reasoning behind every action. Here, everything is immediate. They don't take the time to tell them why they can't do what they did, they don't give second or third chances to correct themselves. I just have to pray that my fellow leaders are patient with me. I have to learn. I have to dismiss my opinions on cultural actions and learn. I don't want them to fear me. I just want them to respect me. In the past year I have gone from having one sister, to two sisters, to 23 sisters. They are from all over and I love them all differently but in the same way. True Life: my name is Clara Brown and I live in a house with 21 beautiful Ghanian girls. 

Girls! We run the world!

Well, the girls have finally made an appearance! They came Saturday night on July 13th. I love them all so much! Each one has a distinct personality that I can wait to see more of! Seven of the girls are from the North and four of the girls are from the South East. Four of the northerners cannot speak Twi, the rest of the girls can, and two of the girls from the South East can understand English. Every conversation is translated from English to Twi, to the northern language and back again. It took me an hour and a half to read a children's story book! Most of the time I just make a fool of myself and try to use hand motions to communicate, which rarely works. I have the pleasure of teach English to the seven northern girls while Courtney works on reading with the other four and I teach math to all of them. I can only do this part of my job through the LORD because I do not have the patience to teach. The LORD comes through everyday though and provides it. It is so amusing to see the girls experience things for the first time! Like a shower, a light switch, kitchen tools, a toilet, and coloring! Tina won't even let the younger ones in the kitchen because they are still adjusting. The second day that they were here, we brought out the crayons and paper from them to color. They had no idea what to do! So Courtney and I would draw something and they would copy. This is still going ton a week later. All the girls love getting their pictures taken, looking at pictures, dancing, signing, and learning new words! This week we started trying to get somewhat of a daily schedule down of two hours of English and reading, and hour of bible, a break and lunch, an hour of math,and  an hour of life skills and health. We are trying to prepare them to start school in September and not be to behind. They all went to school back home, but most are extremely behind. The first week they were here we practiced how they should welcome visitors. It is the cutest thing to hear them all say together "Hello! Welcome to the Pearl House!". They nail it every time. Courtney and I have definitely had to adjust as well. Girls here fight a lot more, cultural boundaries, and lack of communication have all been hurdles we have to continually jump. The girls are all so beautiful and I can't help but smile every time I hear them laugh, even if they are miss behaving. We took all of the girls to the Village of Hope Orphanage Hospital for check-ups and lab work to make sure they are all healthy, which they are! We all attend Lauren's Lighthouse Chapel together on Sunday mornings and pretty much double their congregation. I am so excited to see why God brought these specific girls here and learn more about their lives. Please pray for patience, communication, and open hearts for the girls. 

Jesus Loves Me

"Jesus loves me this I know, for the bible tells me so. Little one to Him belong, we are weak but He is strong." A simple song that we all know by heart. Every night Courtney, Laura, Dana, and I do devotion and we always start with a song. Since none of us seem to know any of the same songs, we sang this one. When it's really one of the only songs you have, you really listen to the words that you are singing. When you get past the wordiness, multiple verses, and bridge parts of all the worship songs and you go back to the simple children's worship, it is a lot easier to just see Jesus work. The bible tells me that Jesus loves me. I belong to Him. I am weak, but He is strong. While I am here I am going to have weak days, but God sent me here so I trust that He will be my strength. There are still no girls here yet, but they a coming and I can't wait to teach them these songs to show them how much their Savior loves them. Yes, you read that right! Girls are coming. They are not the original 7 we had found earlier in the year, but they are girls who have nothing: no hope now or for the future. We don't know where they are from or even how many are coming this week, we just know that God has sent us to take care of His little children that He loves. 

Lauren's Lighthouse

This morning was my first Sunday here in Ghana and I was so excited to get to worship the LORD in Lauren's Lighthouse Chapel. For theses of you who don't know, Lauren was a dear family friend of mine that past away in 2007 in a car accident. Before she died, she had signed up to go on our youth groups first trip to Ghana. She was never able to make it here in body,  but she is definitely here in spirit. Lauren's family built a church here in Winneba through Maranatha in her honor. It is a beautiful church that is filled with worship for the LORD. It made my heart so happy to see young and old attend church there. We talked about 1 Corinthians 13 this morning and I thought it was so fitting to talk about love on my first Sunday there because Lauren was on my mind and that was what she did. She loved. I am excited to see this church grow and become an even bigger lighthouse for the LORD. 

Waiting on the World to Change.

So I have officially moved into the Pearl House! It is amazing and so spacious! The house has a beautiful view with a nice ocean breeze at all times! The only thing that the house is missing is the girls. The original 7 girls have pretty much flaked out and Pastor Odai has been in contact with several pastors to have them each find a girl in their village that pretty much had no hope. It is a slightly different path than we were on, but we are trusting that God has it all worked out. It has been sort of rough not having a lot to do be because usually when I am in Ghana it is go go go 20 hours of the day. We have found ways to keep us busy though. Tina isn't here yet, so we have had lots of fun trying to cook for ourselves. We have been "decorating" and organizing and making lots of phone calls and meeting with people. We finally ventured out or the house today to go run some errands. Since  yesterday was the 4th of July, we celebrated as much as we could. We all wore our red, white, and blue, we cooked a semi-American food (as close to tacos as we could get) and  ate watermelon and Dr. Pepper. After dinner we belted the National Anthem and God Bless America for Dana  and I'm pretty sure he judged us the whole time, but that's okay. We ended our celebration with FanIce (ice cream), my stash of Oreos, and an episode of Friends. I have been using this down time to get to know Courtney and Laura better and it has been wonderful. We get along like we have know each other for years, not days. We share similar humor, sarcasm, and hearts for Africa. I look forward to see God work through this relationship He has provided. Despite the houses emptiness, we have managed to fill it with our laughter. Adjusting to African living has probably been one of the funniest things I have experienced. Learning to cook chicken, being scared by the security guard, running out of water, offending natives with our struggle to learn the language, slipping through the mud, bugs in the fruit, being called by the pastor to tell us that we are late for church, many dance parties, and locking ourselves in have all been moments that have left tears on our faces from our hilarious failures. We continue to pray every night for the future girls of this home even though we no longer know who they might be. God didn't bring us this far to leave us with an empty house, so I know He has something big planned. 

What Am I Doing!?

As I was sitting on my 3 flights over here I couldn't get the question out of my head "what the heck am I getting myself into!?" Thinking about how foreign this will all be to me despite the fact that I have been over here 3 other times. Thinking about what happens when I realize I don't have my youth group around me, when my American food runs out, when my trip goes longer than the 2 weeks I am used to. However, once I stepped off my final plane and took in a huge whiff of the very distinct Ghanaian smell, I knew that I was where I was supposed to be. I was greeted by Courtney, Laura, Tina, and Kingsley who all warmly welcomed me back home. We are staying in Accra tonight, so we drove through town to go to Shiloh. As I walked in, I saw Pastor Odai who gave my a great big hug and started chatting with me like I hadn't been gone for more than a few days. I feel like I am back home and where God wants me. Cynthia fixed an excellent dinner which I paired with an ice cold Dr. Pepper, which is a first! I didn't know they had it here (but its a secrete, sshhh). Tonight, Courtney, Laura (a girl from Courtney's home church), and I will go over to the church to regroup about the Pearl House since the girls who were chosen are being back and forth abut living there. Pastor Odai, of course, already has plans to save the day and I will let you know what they are as soon as I know. I got to see Mama Valerie at the church last night and it was so good to see that sweet lady! She definitely holds a place in my heart when my mama can't be here with me. As we got back from the church, I got the best surprise when Little Cynthia opened the door for us! We both looked at each other and she jumped to give me the best welcome home hug! Both of our faces lit up at the sight of seeing each other! I am getting so excited to see what God has planned for us here even though I don't know what He is doing. Well, shalom for now and I will keep everyone posted as often as I can!